Kids / Chores Responsibility

Someone please tell my daughters that:


1)  I am supposed to tell them how to do things correctly.


2) I am supposed to remind them to be responsible for themselves.


3) I am supposed to tell them to do a better job when i KNOW  they can. 


Please also tell them I do this because I AM A GOOD MOM not mean. That I am NOT supposed to be their friend but their guide, leader & mother. 

Oh one more thing could you please let them know that being part of a family means certain innate responsibilities towards the care and keeping of the family and home this is expressed in chores. This is not optional this is real life and when they grow up they will also have to clean their house, their kitchen, their bathroom (including the inside of the toilet) their own laundry, their car, their living room...well you get the idea. 


Any volunteers to do my communicating?


 Oh wait one more thing gratitude goes a long way.


PS this is my SHORT LIST

START AT THIS AGE FOLKS TRUST ME

Bad Mom

Why is it rationally, I KNOW I am a GOOD MOM.  But then something happens and emotionally I feel like a BAD MOM.

When a child does something normal like covet the possessions of others why cant I just use it as an opportunity for growth..and then LET IT GO....I mean I make it a grand lesson (with thanks from Professor Leslie Lewis) of learning how the other child would FEEL if they were to have their precious item taken. Lets say a generally kind and thoughtful 6 year old sees a toy she just has a HUGE impulse to take from a friends back pack and for what ever reason at that moment the nice child isn't able to resist the urge to take the toy even though her conscience is already nagging at her saying "this is probably bad and will lead to trouble" and she takes the toy.

Interestingly enough the child almost immediately feels guilty (this is a good thing) and turns the toy over to the teacher with out an explanation. So the impulse was too strong to resist yet the guilt was too strong to keep the toy and the self preservation and embarrassment prevents the child from fessing up to the teacher the details.

In comes GOOD MOM.  Mom speaks to teacher and is informed that the child gave the toy to the teacher but refused to explain where it came from.  Mom takes 30 seconds alone with child to ascertain the complete story and promptly takes child to the Vice Principal with whom she has the upmost respect for. VP handles it nicely talks about the pain it would cause the other child but also talks about giving the toy to the teacher was a right step in the process of making things right and telling truth to mom too was GOOD but lets say it now...stealing a toy from a classmate/friend is WRONG.

Mom takes child back to class and child immediately apologizes to classmate/friend.  The mom before leaving the child hugs her and tells her "I love you and while I am disappointed in the behavior I still feel you are a GOOD child and understand that urge to covet other peoples possessions. Lets work on ways to resist the impulse in the future like tugging your earlobe or stamping your feet a few times until the urge passes".

Child later that day suggests pretend pulling the bad idea in her head to do something "naughty" out of her ear next time. Cute. Mom feels like child gets message all is well. This is normal childhood shit.

Why do I feel like a BAD MOM.  Why do my emotions tell me "oh this incident means serious problems in the future" and "you should spend every minute of every day reviewing all parenting choices past and present to locate the BAD parenting and FIX it."

SHIT kids take things especially at the age of 6. The child had remorse and the mom handled it beautifully....but yet...I still feel like a BAD MOM. My head is NOT MY FRIEND.

The Mess ... Again

repost because I love this one:

The Mess

The mess in my house is NOT a means of defining me
The mess in my house is inevitable
The mess in my house comes back 1 hour after I clean
The mess in my house is every where
The mess in my house does not reflect poorly on my parenting

The mess in my house does NOT mean I am stupid
The mess in my house does NOT mean I am lame
The mess in my house does NOT mean I am lazy
The mess in my house does NOT mean I am piggish

The mess in my house is organic

The mess in my house is because my kids play
The mess in my house is because they play often
The mess in my house is because they eat
The mess in my house is because they are free with their fun and food
(snacks only, meals are at table)
The mess in my house is because I am busy with the girls too busy to clean everyday
The mess in my house is because I am busy caring for me everyday
The mess in my house is because I love my family too much to clean all the time
The mess in my house is because we are off on adventures to playgrounds,
Sea World, the Zoo, play dates, finding bugs, rainbow walks *, riding bikes, scooters and rollerblades (ok most of those are with dad)

The mess in my house is just a mess it comes and goes and when I look back on their childhoods I don't want to remember a clean house I want to remember the smiles, the "mommy you are the greatest" the smell of sun on their skin, the smell of them after a bath, the chatter at the dinner table the screams at the pool.

So, please come over, have fun with us, don't judge me because my house is messy be happy for me for letting go in fact maybe be inspired by my letting go too. Don't think bad thoughts about me and my mess because me and my mess are starting to get along and I don't want to mess that up.

Snuggles

Dearest Moms,


Snuggle as much as possible. Every time my girls ask me to read a book I try never to say no! I always ask them each and every day to come cuddle me for 10 minutes (hopefully longer).


I LOVE to lay and talk to London about her wishes for things like every piece of clothing she touches from Justice and I love to have my 11 year old tell me how she hates oil companies and how people are stupid and ruin our earth and how she will change that and how she tries to now by educating her friends and family...I love to ask my 5 year old about her day and what she dreams about and my awesome teenager is always eager to update me on her school schedule, social outings and friend gossip.


Recently my daughter scolded some acquaintances severely with regards to alcohol abuse and we are just SO DAMN PROUD OF HER!


Its really truly the best thing ever to assist these little beings in developing into intelligent, considerate, conscientious human beings responsible for their own actions and how they affect other people.


Its so amazing to remember they are not MINE they are just allowing me to guide them and keep them as safe as meant to be on their