Sick

I will tell you why it is when I get sick I get TOTALLY unequivocally SICK.... because from the moment my eyes open (usually too early) I hear "mommy I am hungry, mommy can I haver drink of water, mommy I have to go potty turn the light on I scarewed (the w was on purpose to show how the 3 yr. old says it). Then I come down the stairs and it really starts, mommy I want goldfish mommy I don't want to go to school, mommy lets go to the beach, mommy lets play Chutes and Ladders, mommy make a puzzle mommy I need more milk, mommy I need more water... Even when I try and make coffee and state that it is BEST to let a GRUMPY SICK mommy make her coffee first they don't stop lol. this all happened in 2 minutes I would like to add.

Nordstroms

ok, so, why is it when I go into Nordstrom's to SHOP (I am the one with the money, I am shopping during the day which suggests I am wealthier than you) at the makeup, skin care or perfume desks, WHY are those overly made whores so rude? Hey Nordstom's girls heres to you "YOU are working, I AM SHOPPING, I am not working therefore I am immediately cooler than YOU, DONT forget you work at a friggin department store and NOT even the best at that if you are so hot why don't you go work for Neiman Marcus? Get it?? YOU work as a sales girl! It is very likely that you spend your entire paycheck on products created to divert you from the important things in life."

Thank you for that.

The Slow One

Ok I didn't want to post this but its necessary...my husband is one of those drivers who goes super slow in the left hand turn lane so that when its his turn to go and turn left on the green arrow he lets in tons of asshole drivers who either forgot to get over or who again think their time is more important than ours. While some may find this easy going attitude liberating and lovely I find it completely frustrating because not only has he encouraged more people to pass the long line of patient waiters to cut in he has caused many enduring people who have waited their turn TO MISS THE LIGHT! I say something to the effect of - is this really the best decision taking into consideration the people behind you? His response was something like "well the people who cut in are happy". Did we make it home safely and in plenty of time. OF COURSE WE DID. Harumph

To Go or Not To Go

Once you have more than one child you are faced with the dilemma to leave the house or not to leave the house. You see its many a mouths to feed, dishes to pick up, feet that need to be shoed, teeth brushed and potty visited, make sure the clothes are clean and then if its raining don't get me started... then there is the logistical drama of who will sit where in the car assuming they are of speaking age (much harder)... seat belts fastened then lets say you get to your destination without too much conflict regarding music choice and who is singing too loudly.

NOW they inform you they have to pee and they are hungry. Did you remember to pack adequate snacks better yet did you pack anything they will eat? A trip to the bathroom, refastening buttons and making sure hands are washed and dried you venture out on your journey handing out snacks and juice boxes because if you attempt to sit down they will either get dirty or run away... can you see why one would NO LONGER WANT TO WALK AROUND the mall or the museum? No, the parent is exhausted and starving because in all of the rush to actually GET somewhere BEFORE noon the mom or dad forgets to feed themselves. Don't forget, the snack that fares well with the kids is never something that will do for your ravenous hunger after 4 cups of coffee and 4 hours of chaos. Did we go anywhere today? You guess. Its noon.