Guilt - But This Time Good -

I yelled today at my 6 yr old yesterday in the evening.  /:(


I promptly apologized with loads of hugs & kisses but did not feel right about it.


When we talked about it @ bed time, snuggling in her bed, I called myself a poop head and said everyone can be a poop head one time or another. She responded with: "I'm a poophead too".  Then out of the blue her 4 yr old sister, who we thought was asleep says (from under the covers) "I'm a poophead too mommy" and we all start laughing belly laughs!


I really did feel bad when I yelled at her and when I say yelled I mean I YELLED and made her cry and I felt like such a SHIT afterwards so my "good mommy-ing" sometimes stems from guilt.


GUILT - I FINALLY I FOUND a good use for my guilt. It led me to help us laugh about it! YAY for us MOMS!!!!

Forgiveness

I have forgiven someone...
who backstabbed/gossiped involving me 8 years ago and what is CRAZY is I have basically just ignored her for those 8 years despite the fact we have mutual friends and end up at the same engagements.

I was walking along and seeing that beam of light shine through some clouds and feeling some serenity and  peacefulness that one feels in the presence of a power greater than themselves and WHAM I realized I am a TERRIBLE gossip and I have been working on this character defect for YEARS and who am I to hold that against her stupid ass when I do it and don't mean to.

So here you are girl I forgive you and in return I get a little forgiveness towards MYSELF too!

YAY!
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Feelings

I avoid them like the plague.


If I do allow myself to feel anything other than anger I feel relief afterwards usually then very tired.


It is scary to feel the deeper feelings BUT I have learned the feelings do not define ME.


The feelings come and then they PASS.


Today I will feel past the anger and let it go.

Ice Cream

When I don't buy it I am fine.


When I do buy it I go night after night with no desire then...


WHAM it hits me .... I NEED TO EAT THAT ICE CREAM AND A LOT OF IT.....and forget portion control I get 3 scoops, eat it to fast, feel like I didn't enjoy it, I am not full so I do 3 MORE scoops YES 6 scoops ARG.  But have you tried the ALL Natural Breyers Ice Cream called "Overload" Waffle Cone?  It has vanilla ice cream , with caramel swirl and fudge covered waffle cone pieces that crunch...need I say any more? I think not.  Ack, Blaaaaaaa....