It Began Early On

All the way back to either Kindergarten or first grade I felt off. Like I was never the "right" one. Like I did NOT fit in. It felt to me like I was NEVER chosen by the teacher when questions were asked.

You could see the straining on my face, I sat as high as I could, my arm raised so far it almost went numb, yet I was never picked to answer a question. Or so it seemed.

Or if i was picked... I answered incorrectly. So disappointed in myself.

An excellent example is when I was in class and we were sitting in what is like circle time now. My teacher was holding something up asking questions and I was so eager, reaching so high with my hand. I just KNEW the RIGHT answer this time...But, yet again, I was not selected.

In my incomprehensible disillusionment I brought my arm and hand down with such force I stabbed my pencil into my other open palm and broke the tip off in my hand. OUCH!

This frustrated the teacher to NO end (who clearly I annoyed with my eagerness on a regular basis anyway) because she had to stop the class and administer first aid to the disruptive child (me).

I look back as I am writing this and wonder if she wasn't just a bitch who squelched my enthusiasm because she was angry or unhappy herself and just couldn't stand my delight and eagerness. Maybe she was overworked, underpaid or beat by her husband.

Or was I born with the incorrect chemicals and connections in my brain that made me feel like I wasn't picked enough, made me feel like I was wrong from the beginning?

...I still have that piece of lead in my palm to this day.

Wannabe Vegetarian

Fried Garbanzo Beans
Taiha Wagner of Just One Bite

Ingredients:
One can organic garbanzo beans
Organic cold pressed olive oil
Celtic sea salt
Black pepper

Directions:
Open and drain can of garbanzo beans. Dry off with paper towels.
Use a small fry pan and fill with enough olive oil to submerge garbanzo beans half way.
Heat olive oil on medium-high heat.
Carefully place beans in hot olive oil, turning once browned.
Once fully browned, remove from pan and place on paper towel.
Season with sea salt, black pepper and/or chili powder

These garbanzo beans are a tasty snack or a great addition to a hearty salad.

I Hate Wells fargo

Someone tried to break into our account. We went into a branch and opened a new account. We left a little $ in the old account to cover some outstanding checks and to last us for cash while we patiently waited for our NEW Credit / ATM cards in the mail (5 days was promised). I was also ASSURED my old ATM PIN will work. 8 days later I have no new card. 9th day I receive a new card. I try to use my new VISA ATM card at the Wells Fargo ATM as the sticker on my new card tells me to. IN ORDER TO ACTIVATE THIS CARD USE IT AT A WELL FARGO ATM. My PIN does NOT work. I call the number on the sticker (the same sticker that told me to use it at an ATM to activate it remember that the fucking guy at the wells fargo branch assured me my pin would work). I swear I am not angry even at this point I am laughing at the ridiculousness. I punch in my account number as on my card and it demands I tell it my checking account or savings account number. I DONT HAVE THESE I AM AT THE FUCKING ATM REMEMBER.

I hang up and call back to get a real person to activate my card. I patiently hold for 5 minutes. The woman on the line asks me my Social Security Number. I giver her this, my birthdate, my FULL name and my address, my husbands Social Security Number and his birthdate and she informs me....are you ready.....

SHE CANNOT ACTIVATE MY CARD UNLESS I CAN TELL HER THE EXACT DATE AND AMOUNT OF MY LAST AUTOMATIC DEPOSIT.

That whore.

So I said in my nicest voice "I am angry at you and I will not thank you because you did not help me at all, GOOD BYE"

It was like the good bye in Go Dogs Go.

For those of you who don't know me very well this is HUMONGOUS personal growth for me because I wanted to say this.... Look you dirty whore, I gave you everything but my blood type and a sex inventory from my past why the @$*& are you being such a frickin twat about this I mean really are you #&%$* stupid or just new at your job?

The Mess

The mess in my house is NOT a means of defining me
The mess in my house is inevitable
The mess in my house comes back 1 hour after I clean
The mess in my house is every where
The mess in my house does not reflect poorly on my parenting

The mess in my house does NOT mean I am stupid
The mess in my house does NOT mean I am lame
The mess in my house does NOT mean I am lazy
The mess in my house does NOT mean I am piggish

The mess in my house is organic

The mess in my house is because my kids play
The mess in my house is because they play often
The mess in my house is because they eat
The mess in my house is because they are free with their fun and food
(snacks only, meals are at table)
The mess in my house is because I am busy with the girls too busy to clean everyday
The mess in my house is because I am busy caring for me everyday
The mess in my house is because I love my family too much to clean all the time
The mess in my house is because we are off on adventures to playgrounds,
Sea World, the Zoo, play dates, finding bugs, rainbow walks *, riding bikes, scooters and rollerblades (ok most of those are with dad)

The mess in my house is just a mess it comes and goes and when I look back on their childhoods I don't want to remember a clean house I want to remember the smiles, the "mommy you are the greatest" the smell of sun on their skin, the smell of them after a bath, the chatter at the dinner table the screams at the pool.

So, please come over, have fun with us, don't judge me because my house is messy be happy for me for letting go in fact maybe be inspired by my letting go too. Don't think bad thoughts about me and my mess because me and my mess are starting to get along and I don't want to mess that up.

Green Smoothie

I hope my incredible personal trainer Isa doesn't mind me sharing this on my blog but I am SO excited about it! ITS DELICIOUS and I did not believe her I swear!

Handful or two of fresh spinach
Cup or so of Almond Milk (not sweetened please)
1/2 cup blueberries
1 banana
Some ice
Scoop vanilla protein powder

BLEND BABY

Tanning

Sheesh I know we ALL look better when tanner I get it. I will not deny it or lie about it. EVERYONE is sexier when tan, it makes us look thinner, slimmer, sexier, healthier, fitter and just plain BETTER.

Now a days we have options other than tanning salons and beaches though...let's take a look at the TRUTH. I don't judge I am tempted by the tanning salon and the pool side tanning myself but having had some precancerous spots removed that came back and now have to be biopsied I wont cave, I wont I wont I wont......GOD I hate being pale though.....

Just like tanning outside, tanning indoors damages your skin. That's because indoor tanning devices emit ultraviolet rays. Tanning occurs when the skin produces additional pigment (coloring) to protect itself against burn from ultraviolet rays. Tanning is the skin's reaction to ultraviolet (UV) radiation. When skin is exposed to UV rays, cells called melanocytes produce the brown pigment melanin, which darkens the cells of the epidermis. This darkening of the skin cells is the skin's natural – if imperfect – defense against further damage from UV radiation. Overexposure to these rays can cause eye injury, premature wrinkling of the skin, sagging skin, and spots, light-induced skin rashes, and can increase your chances of developing skin cancer. The sun's UV rays damage the DNA of the skin's epidermal cells, triggering enzymes that hurry to repair the damage. However, these enzymes don't always repair the DNA successfully, and the unrepaired damage can lead to mutations that increase the risk of skin cancer.

The most popular device used in tanning salons is a clamshell-like tanning bed. The customer lies down on a Plexiglas surface as lights from above and below reach the body. Many older tanning devices used light sources that emitted shortwave ultraviolet rays (UVB) that actually caused burning. Aware of the harmful effects of UVB radiation, salon owners began using tanning beds that emit mostly longwave (UVA) light sources. Some salons claim this is safe. While UVA rays are less likely to cause burning than UVB rays, they are suspected to have links to malignant melanoma and immune system damage. So, is the UVA ok? Maybe UVA is better but tanning beds are still bad?

Scientists have PROVEN by the early 1990's that UVA exacerbates the cancer-causing effects of UVB, and is the main wavelength behind photoaging. Recently, an Australian-U.S. study found that UVA may be more carcinogenic than UVB. It penetrates more deeply and causes more genetic damage in the skin cells (keratinocytes) where most skin cancers arise. The National Institutes of Health and the World Health Organization now designate both UVA and UVB as causes of cancer.

Study after study has shown that sunbed tanning increases the risk of both melanoma and nonmelanoma skin cancers.

BUT AGAIN everything in moderation right? BUT tanning beds are not about moderation are they?

I like self tanners.


STAY tuned because next week I will begin my own study of 10 body self tanners and 10 face self tanners and report to you their best results for my skin type and I will post pictures on my FB page when orangey lol

Pandora is Amazing

I have known for at least a year about this site but I finally tried it today and I LOVE IT!

http://www.pandora.com/

Uh Oh

So I chaperoned a Sea World trip for my Kindergartner's class a month ago while they were in the midst of their sea life studies. I personally don't like to chaperone the girls class trips because 1) my kids are not nice to me on them, very demanding and 2) I *really* don't like the poor manners of other peoples kids which seems to be running rampant these days.

SIDE NOTE: Oh and BELIVE me if you are wondering how safe is it to let your child go with me well... I love my kids more than anything in this world, more than my husband and more than my own life. I will safeguard other peoples children under my care like they ARE my own AND with that service of love you get from me the constant reminders to say THANK YOU, PLEASE and YOU ARE WELCOME or excuse me or if they are talking while not supposed to be I will shush them and not gently depending on the age group. I will herd them as necessary and stink eye when ever I see fit.

Back to my Sea World story. So we get there and break off into groups and I am off with one mom and her daughter and me and my daughter and we are having a grand time until MY daughter decides I should buy her a toy. I, of course under the scrutinizing eye of a peer mom calmly and kindly remind her we aren't here to make any purchases and I ALREADY bought her a CHURROR,POPCORN AND SODA...so she proceeds to throw a medium fit right there.

I am tired, irritated but not embarrassed this is par for the course with the 6 yr old so I say quite LOUDLY.....


"I am thinking of a word that starts with B and sounds like WITCH"

My daughter stands tall and shouts back at me BITCH?

ah yes fruit of my loins right there.

Kids & Food

My friend Tonya has helped me immensely with the food issues I face with my kids! WE ALL FACE THEM! I have 4 so I have 4x's her 2x's the issues yet she is a plethora of information on how to deal in a positive way!

She is active about finding books, online recipes and ideas from friends for introducing new foods.

She manipulates recipes to better represent her kids tastes.

She rocks :)

She recommended Rachel Ray's TOP 30 , 30 minute meals for kids.

I love it. Now I have found only 4 recipes that work in my family HOWEVER that is 4 more than I had in my arsenal last week. Only one did I need to change a bit for our tastes.

Please try this book worth the $$ Under $10 at Amazon (PS if you are frequent shopper she also recommends the FREE shipping for a minimal cost membership on Amazon :)

http://www.amazon.com/Kid-Food-Rachael-30-Minute-Meals/dp/1891105221/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1267837160&sr=8-1

Ringing, Singing and Blinking...

Ok remember when we were little (some of my friends this does not refer to your young ass) the 5 ring plastic or wooden toy where the red was the largest and so on smaller until you get to the blue? I loved that toy and it was one of my VERY first purchases when my 16 yr old was born! you learn stacking, colors, smaller and bigger, fine motor skills and HOW TO PLAY QUIETLY alone or with a parent. My husband used to make up games with the rings like put them on the girls feet so they would try and get them off (long term entertainment for both parent and child ;) or as they got older he would sit facing them open legged and roll the rings back and forth....http://toy-terminal.com/fisher-price-rock-a-stack-review/ you can see the toy here.

Now toy companies have ruined this simple and perfect toy while warping our children's minds. Today the toy is busy, flashy and makes loud sounds? WHY I ask do we do this? Ultimately because companies (especially pharmaceutical ones) get greedy, they want more and more $$ so they have to try and "improve" on something old to increase sales so the upper management and higher gets more and more bonuses etcetera .

What doe changing that toy symbolize? My friend Isa said it the best today: Its like preparing them to be ready for Vegas. HAHAHA we are giving our children ADHD. Take a simple toy and make it beeping, singing, flashing and you have created a mini vegas in a toy and overwhelmed your child. You KNOW some of you bought that newer version thinking it would make your kids smarter or you'd be cooler or MAYBE so you wouldn't have to play as along with them and it would grab their attention longer.

If you ask me, you harmed your child and encouraged exactly what's wrong with Corporate America and Kids today. Now your child's toys all make noise and flash and you have created a child who NEEDS mass amounts of stimulation to keep their attention? Good work. Then send them to public school and ask them to sit quietly for hours a day. more to come