the 3rd honest mom on eblog because THATS what we really need is more moms and dads to be HONEST and OPEN for christs sake so we can understand we are not alone! We are JUST ALIKE!
I recommend this blog too:
http://williamplavinsmom.blogspot.com/
Friday, June 18, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Regrets
It is so obvious to me why I do this - things are not going as smoothly as they have in the past and then I begin the regret thought patterns...
What if I hadn't left that boyfriend, what if I hadn't had so many kids what if I had finished college what if what if what if.....
I pray and thank God for what I have and I am truly thankful for the basics and all the bonus stuff in my life.
My gratitude list is LONG and starts with my healthy, intelligent kids, my supportive and intelligent husband, my lovely home and my cool car thats is old but I adore it, my incredibly awesome friends who have become my family, and my actual family AND my health....BUT
Wouldn't my life be EASIER and BETTER had I made a few different decisions in the past?
What about the fantasy of the ones left behind?
I don't regret my kids at all in fact they have defined me and given my otherwise meaningless life purpose! But I DO wonder would I have been a better mom and offered more resources if I had chosen to have less kids?
Each child has had such a positive effect on my spiritual being each child catapulted me into another dimension of thoughts, love and being.
I cannot regret my first marriage because I truly loved that man and wanted so much to have our child who is such an amazing human being she is everything I dreamed she would be and more! She is everything I am not! She is a better, upgraded version of me and him its amazing.
I cannot regret my divorce because we were not meant to stay together. We were bad for each other and would have created a terrible environment to raise our daughter in.
I cannot regret leaving one man for the next and so on because it led to my fantastic husband who as of late is on my last nerve but I am 100% sure I love and adore him deep inside when he behaves in way I find acceptable LOL
BUT I WONDER WHAT WOULD BE IF I HAD..........
Its sad but not. Its unhealthy line of thinking I am sure...my friend Ruby reminds me its a choice to walk down this path of regret...but its not easy to step off it or turn away from it!...maybe I will roll in my shit a little bit before i get out of it and shower it off...
I am always recommending a book now because I LOVE TO READ and have read over 1000 books and I am recommending only MY FAVS I HIGHLY suggest you read what I recommend - I am that good at choosing books <3
What if I hadn't left that boyfriend, what if I hadn't had so many kids what if I had finished college what if what if what if.....
I pray and thank God for what I have and I am truly thankful for the basics and all the bonus stuff in my life.
My gratitude list is LONG and starts with my healthy, intelligent kids, my supportive and intelligent husband, my lovely home and my cool car thats is old but I adore it, my incredibly awesome friends who have become my family, and my actual family AND my health....BUT
Wouldn't my life be EASIER and BETTER had I made a few different decisions in the past?
What about the fantasy of the ones left behind?
Each child has had such a positive effect on my spiritual being each child catapulted me into another dimension of thoughts, love and being.
I cannot regret my first marriage because I truly loved that man and wanted so much to have our child who is such an amazing human being she is everything I dreamed she would be and more! She is everything I am not! She is a better, upgraded version of me and him its amazing.
I cannot regret my divorce because we were not meant to stay together. We were bad for each other and would have created a terrible environment to raise our daughter in.
I cannot regret leaving one man for the next and so on because it led to my fantastic husband who as of late is on my last nerve but I am 100% sure I love and adore him deep inside when he behaves in way I find acceptable LOL
BUT I WONDER WHAT WOULD BE IF I HAD..........
Its sad but not. Its unhealthy line of thinking I am sure...my friend Ruby reminds me its a choice to walk down this path of regret...but its not easy to step off it or turn away from it!...maybe I will roll in my shit a little bit before i get out of it and shower it off...
I am always recommending a book now because I LOVE TO READ and have read over 1000 books and I am recommending only MY FAVS I HIGHLY suggest you read what I recommend - I am that good at choosing books <3
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Hot Quotient
so, i find in marriage (not just mine because i run regular testing for my e-theories) that each partner has a what i like to call their "hot quotient". this can be summed up as their sex appeal and general good looks level divided by the other partner's. of COURSE there are the times when one's hot quotient out weighs or is above if you wish the others. for various reasons that is ever changing. in some relationships the hot quotient is very uneven and stays that way for the entire relationship for example the man may be much hotter than the woman and everyone knows this but no one actually talks about it because we LIKE TO PRETEND LOOKS DONT MATTER or LOOKS ARE NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING and the old addage "dont judge a book by its cover" and I will even venture to say "you need to meet my friend they are really NICE and FUUNY (when usually if they are hot that comes out first).
HEY I dont agree with how society makes looks NUMBER ONE but lets face it IT DOES AND THAT IS A FACT.
having said all that we are back to one is hotter than the other and on average in MOST relationships this fluctuates back and forth between the 2. lets use me and my hot husband as an example. when he and i met our hot quotient was EQUAL we were both hot and cute and all that means is really truly and completely shallow we were equal in our physical attraction ability/lever. after our 1st daughter was born i was even able to raise my hot qotient above his (his hair ugh and he was pale for an entire year lol). mind you this did not last long at all before he surpased me after our 2nd daughter together and he has been above me since that kid in 2004. BUT, these days he works long hours, doesnt get much sun, lets his hair do bad things and has to wear compression socks and quess what baby! I am BACK. I work out 2-3 times a week, dye my grey hair (its all grey if any of you need that support), i work hard on my spiritual being and WHAM I am SO above him now LMAO.
its normal for the fluctuations over years at a time especially for how hard it is for us women to get back our bodies and our self after babies and child rearing and forget the time if you are a stay at home mom you are crazy the last one on the list to take care of yourself! Actually it may be harder for working moms I dont know but all I can say is YOU CAN GET IT BACK, dont worry your time is coming and if you HAVE IT RIGHT NOW enjoy the hell out of it and if you cant tell......
start watching other people watching you as a couple cause you will know when you see THAT look...we have ALL done it or seen it or both THAT LOOK "what is he/she doing with THEM"
i was on the crappy end of that look for years but i had hope and always have been a hopeful person and see it worked!
LOVE, TOLERANCE AND HOPE
and dont from now on be the person who thinks that and gives THE LOOK think about erika's story how one day she was hot then she was off for a few years and she may get it back and that the reason that guy is with her is probably cause of LOVE or she WAS HOT at one time or anohter or he CANNOT AFFORD TO DIVORCE HER. More to come on this subject.
Quotient: In mathematics, a quotient is the result of a division. For example, when dividing 6 by 3, the quotient is 2, while 6 is called the dividend, and 3 the divisor. The quotient can also be expressed as the number of times the divisor divides into the dividend.
Hot: Physical attractiveness is the perception of the physical traits of an individual human person as aesthetically pleasing or beautiful, and can include various implications such as sexual attractiveness and physique. What is considered physically attractive is dependent on three factors: universal perceptions common to all human cultures, cultural and social aspects and individual subjective preferences. Despite universally held perceptions of beauty in both sexes, males tend to place significantly higher value on physical appearance in a partner than women do. This can be explained by evolutionary psychology as a consequence of ancestral humans who selected partners based on secondary sexual characteristics, as well as general indicators of fitness (for example, symmetrical features) enjoying greater reproductive success as a result of higher fertility in those partners, although a male's ability to provide resources for offspring was likely signalled less by physical features. This is because the most prominent indicator of fertility in women is youth, while the traits in a man that enhance reproductive success are proxies for his ability to accrue resources and protect. There appear to be universal standards regarding attractiveness both within and across cultures and ethnic groups.
HEY I dont agree with how society makes looks NUMBER ONE but lets face it IT DOES AND THAT IS A FACT.
having said all that we are back to one is hotter than the other and on average in MOST relationships this fluctuates back and forth between the 2. lets use me and my hot husband as an example. when he and i met our hot quotient was EQUAL we were both hot and cute and all that means is really truly and completely shallow we were equal in our physical attraction ability/lever. after our 1st daughter was born i was even able to raise my hot qotient above his (his hair ugh and he was pale for an entire year lol). mind you this did not last long at all before he surpased me after our 2nd daughter together and he has been above me since that kid in 2004. BUT, these days he works long hours, doesnt get much sun, lets his hair do bad things and has to wear compression socks and quess what baby! I am BACK. I work out 2-3 times a week, dye my grey hair (its all grey if any of you need that support), i work hard on my spiritual being and WHAM I am SO above him now LMAO.
its normal for the fluctuations over years at a time especially for how hard it is for us women to get back our bodies and our self after babies and child rearing and forget the time if you are a stay at home mom you are crazy the last one on the list to take care of yourself! Actually it may be harder for working moms I dont know but all I can say is YOU CAN GET IT BACK, dont worry your time is coming and if you HAVE IT RIGHT NOW enjoy the hell out of it and if you cant tell......
start watching other people watching you as a couple cause you will know when you see THAT look...we have ALL done it or seen it or both THAT LOOK "what is he/she doing with THEM"
i was on the crappy end of that look for years but i had hope and always have been a hopeful person and see it worked!
LOVE, TOLERANCE AND HOPE
and dont from now on be the person who thinks that and gives THE LOOK think about erika's story how one day she was hot then she was off for a few years and she may get it back and that the reason that guy is with her is probably cause of LOVE or she WAS HOT at one time or anohter or he CANNOT AFFORD TO DIVORCE HER. More to come on this subject.
Quotient: In mathematics, a quotient is the result of a division. For example, when dividing 6 by 3, the quotient is 2, while 6 is called the dividend, and 3 the divisor. The quotient can also be expressed as the number of times the divisor divides into the dividend.
Hot: Physical attractiveness is the perception of the physical traits of an individual human person as aesthetically pleasing or beautiful, and can include various implications such as sexual attractiveness and physique. What is considered physically attractive is dependent on three factors: universal perceptions common to all human cultures, cultural and social aspects and individual subjective preferences. Despite universally held perceptions of beauty in both sexes, males tend to place significantly higher value on physical appearance in a partner than women do. This can be explained by evolutionary psychology as a consequence of ancestral humans who selected partners based on secondary sexual characteristics, as well as general indicators of fitness (for example, symmetrical features) enjoying greater reproductive success as a result of higher fertility in those partners, although a male's ability to provide resources for offspring was likely signalled less by physical features. This is because the most prominent indicator of fertility in women is youth, while the traits in a man that enhance reproductive success are proxies for his ability to accrue resources and protect. There appear to be universal standards regarding attractiveness both within and across cultures and ethnic groups.
Physical attractiveness can have a significant effect on how people are judged. In terms of employment or social opportunities, friendship, sexual behavior, and marriage. In many cases, humans attribute positive characteristics, such as intelligence and honesty, to attractive people without consciously realizing it. In certain instances, physical attractiveness is distinct from sexual attraction; humans may regard the young as attractive for various reasons, for example, but without sexual attraction.
Women are believed to be more generally attracted to men who are slightly taller and who have a relatively narrow waist and broad shoulders. Men may be attracted by women who are slightly shorter, have a youthful appearance and exhibit features such as a symmetrical face, full breasts, full lips, and a low waist-hip ratio.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)